Goodbye to All That

By Andrew Williams

A readers of my meanderings know, I will be leaving the DC metro area for a few months to try what is for me a great experiment: living in California. Will the West/Left Coast be more conducive to my mental maunderings? Will I find, at long last, True Love? Will the Stones reunite? All these questions, and more...

As a parting gift/shot, I've compiled a list of things I will and won't miss while on my sabbatical.

THINGS I'LL MISS

*Bobby Hill on WPFW-FM, 89.3, Sunday mornings from midnight--3 AM. You'll never hear the same thing the same way. Listening to "The Other Side" is the musical equivalent of reading Robert Anton Wilson or James Joyce. www.wpfw.org

*The Batcave @ DCAC on 18th St., NW. Dee-Ranged Snyder, Doyle and the mad, motley of bards, barristers, barristas and beatniks. www.dcartscenter.org

*Metal nights @ the Black Cat and the Warehouse. Long live Unorthodox, Iron Man, Pentagram, Black Manta, Hidden Hand (Wino rules!), Black Manta, Wretched and the rest.

*Visions Bar Noir (R.I.P.). Donnie Darko Lives.

*East Coast Rainbow pot lucks and gatherings. Oases of sanity in this paranoia-riddled area.

*Post-midnight walks to 7-11 for buffalo chicken taquitos (guilty pleasure!) and Arizona Green Tea with Honey. (Gotta lose the high fructose corn syrup, though.)

*The Library of Congress. Which I always took for granted. Just goes to show I can be as stupid as anyone.

*DC9 nightclub. Good Luck, Bill! Keep the aspidistra flying! www.dcnine.com

*Transparent Productions shows. (Various locations.) I've seen some of the most amazing performances I'll ever see by William Hooker, Susie Ibarra, Denman Maroney, Peter Brotzman and Evan Parker, all thanks to Bobby Hill, Larry Appelbaum, Thomas Stanley, Vincent Kargatis, Herb Taylor and all the other good folk at TP. www.geocities.com/eyelounge/DC/trans.html

*Friends and family. One in the same.

*Joe's Record Paradise. (Rockville & Baltimore, MD). Despite Towerecords, despite the Nazi crackdown by the RIAA Police, I believe Joe's will prevail. Save your vinyl, boys and girls--the needle may rise again! www.joesrecordparadise.com

WHAT I WON'T MISS

*George II. Pay for your own damn coronation, boy.

*Condaleeza Gibbons Rice. Nuff said.

*Alberto VO-5 Gonzalves. May your Armani sleeve get caught in your shredder.

*Rummy. Mr. Croc'o'Tears.

*DC Police Chief Charles "Don't mention Pershing Park to me again, ever!" Ramsey.

*Baseball. Too high a price for too little gain.

*George "Pedant" Will.

*City Paper. Their motto: "Sacrifice truth and objectivity for the sake of a cheap shot."

*Mayor Tony!Tony!Tone Williams. As a CPA, how could he not see how badly MLB was screwing DC?

*The Washington Post. With the sometimes exceptions of Tom Shales, Michael Wilbon, Sally Jenkins, Michelle Singletary and Marc Fisher.

*The Washington Times. Unless they start running James Bovard's Op-Ed's on a weekly basis. And bring back Nat Hentoff. And admit they smooch Reverend's Moon on a daily basis. (If #1 and #2 come to pass, I'll waive #3.)

*Metro. Innumerable delays, lack of 24/7/365 service, overzealous security, overpriced service and overall hyperparanoia. Thankfully, they've finally realized they can't count on local governments to bail them out and have started (tentatively) to initiate their own long-overdue moneyraising programs.

Further, deponent sayeth not. Except a hearty and grateful thanks to all who heard my plea last week and responded, especially C. and J. (You know who you are. Yes, you do.)