A Review of Men's Fashions of the Times, with a Brief Digression into My Issues with Femininity
in Mainstream Media
A strange phenomenon has hit the world of men's magazines. My outlook on the world of women's magazines, in which I am well accustomed, has been permanently altered.
I have grown accustomed to the nausea I feel when checking out of grocery stores. There is nothing I can do about it; somehow I cannot avert my eyes from the anorexic beauties gracing the covers of the innumerable magazines. And as ashamed as I am, I am so uncontrollably drawn to them that, on occasion, I even find myself paying four dollars and ninety-five cents for two hundred pages of man-catching tips, razor-sharp hips, non-fat chips, partially eclipsed pants she unzips, make-over trips for horrid hair flips, amethyst hairclips, nicely-glossed lips, and girls with hard nips. Having succumbed, I shamefully shove my new Elle, Allure, or Cosmopolitan between my books of Existentialist essays and Stencil Graffiti. Only in the hidden hypocrisy of my home do I study the new tricks to have less cellulite in my thighs, more melanin in my face, and whiter whites in my eyeballs. Then, study the new acrobatic man-pleasing tips! In the end, what is the goal of all this? To hitch a man? To finally marry and assert our feminist power by deciding whether to let the man we so successfully whipped support us (hip, mod, Nuevo-feminist housewife!) or become employed as well (glam, perky, Retro-feminist career girl!)? Because, either way, we have the perfect hair, make-up, and stiletto heel for you on page 74!I don't honestly believe that the goals of every woman who picks up a copy of Cosmo at the Giant are this simple, but why then are these magazines so unabashedly funneling women into trying to be eye- and sex-candy for the opposite sex? Why are they packed with images of cloned, half-naked anemics? It is truly mind-boggling how many bare stomachs and blushing nipples can be found in the innumerable magazines whose demographic is heterosexual females. According to researchers for The Media-Awareness Network, over three-quarters of women's magazine covers include messages concerning how to make your body more attractive (be it through diet, exercise, or surgery). But in the world of women's magazines, attractive does not equate to healthy. The American research group Anorexia Nervosa & Related Eating Disorders, Inc. reports that "one out of every four college-aged women uses unhealthy methods of weight control-including fasting, skipping meals, excessive exercise, laxative abuse, and self-induced vomiting." In 2003, Teen magazine reported that 35% of 6 to 12 year-old girls have dieted, and that 50 to 70% of average-sized girls believe they are overweight. Based on these horrific statistics and my own revulsion, I have prayed and prayed (mostly) that women would assert their pride and power in their media. Fortunately, since this seems at best a long way off, I have discovered a new breed of literature, one which almost makes me stop griping about women's self-exploitation and hypocritical, third-wave feminist theories on how liberating the new booty-shorts are. I began to see the trend in mainstream print the day I picked up a copy of New York Times Magazine's Men's Fashions of the Times, Spring 2004 issue, featuring such absolutely fabulous, fashion-conscious statements as 'Go easy on the fringe, partner. We're talking Euro-cowboy here, the kind of guy who wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of chaps.' I am not making this up; 'Euro-cowboy' has entered the vernacular, and he is not wearing chaps.
Men's Fashions of the Times goes on to feature Jalian, "the ultimate nature boy." Apparently, "when [Jalian]'s not hanging with his buddies, he's making his own line of appliquééd sweaters, cropped pants, and shorts." Is it just me or have appliquééd sweaters been largely marginalized by men's media in the past? Fashion displays a spread on all the ways to work with this season's pinstripe suit: The Retro-sexual, the Aristo-brat, the Celebutante, and more!
Emaciated men stare at you hazily from their poised spots in their advertisement, begging you to study their tweezed brows and bleached, gelled hair. Features like 'Pedicure Junction', in which men rave about their "baby-fresh feet", further bridge the gender gap. On page 79, there is even a male nipple! These are not the men of the Cosmo universe! Something is deteriorating in the idea that men are the oblivious pigs who, guided by instinct alone, will catch one hint of your new Ralph Lauren scent, and come a-running. The man of the Men's Fashions of the Times era would sooner recognize the scent and tell you where to find it cheaper. I fear there will always exist such delights as Maxim magazine, featuring a new, barely-clad starlet each month and pick up lines that seem more like rape tips, and Stuff magazine, the men's magazine "covering sex, sports, jokes, gear, adventure, and monkeys," but newer ideas of masculinity are claiming space in the world of men's magazines. For the gentle poet, there is A Man Overboard; for the introspective man with issues of personal growth, there's Men's Voices; Achilles Heel is "a reflection of the diverse and developing ways in which men are experiencing themselves today." But for the fashionista in every man who loves the phrase 'tailored round up', there's T: Men's Fashion, the latest incarnation of Men's Fashions of the Times, offering a "tailored round up of the best looks, trends and personalities in men's fashion." Fashion- and beauty-conscious men are making themselves noticed as a largely untapped source of product-pushing. "Advertisers' response to 'T' has been exceptional," said Jyll Holzman, senior vice president for Advertising, The New York Times. "We're confident that the new collection of 'T' magazines will provide marketers with a powerful environment to build their brands and move product." For years, women have tried to overcome inequality, sexism, and Cosmo. But equality seems to be sprouting, not from women asserting their power, but from men sinking to our level of self-exploitation. Not to promote eating disorders, but I am now looking forward to the day when our society can churn out as many body issues in men as in women. If this includes Jalian's rippled stomach (even through his appliquééd sweaters), I'm all for it.
